Excision 2008

As primary season begins to heat up, many people are asking: who can unseat the Republicans from the White House in 2008? Do the Democrats have what it takes to retake it? Who will rise among the long list of contenders? Hillary stands as the unannounced front runner within the Democratic Party. Kerry clearly intends to give it another go. John Edwards has been positioning himself recently and has bolsted his presidential resume since retiring from the Senate in 2004. Russ Feingold's call for a full withdrawl of troops from Iraq by the end of the year signal his objectives. Chris Dodd, Joe Biden, Wesley Clark, Mark Turner and Evan Bayh, to name a few, are currently in the mix of potential candidates.

Democrats have often nominated a dark horse, most recently Bill Clinton who emerged as a relative unknown from a large pack of Democratic rivals to win the 1992 election. James Polk and Franklin Pierce were two famous democratic dark horses. This may bode well for one presidential hopeful, a self-proclaimed moral compass seeking the high road. Democrat Randy Crow is on a mission from God, he's running for President, and he's completely freaking nuts. But with Jesus on his side, how can he lose.

On his website, Randy argues, "As the world nears extinction people will have an attitude adjustment and many people who did not believe there is a God will become believers. Voters will want a change and this is when I feel people will start looking at me from a different perspective and attitude and I may have a more reasonable chance of being considered for US President."

It seems, however, that "zioni$t$ and communists" have been trying to villify this modern day messiah by saying that he is prejudiced against Jewish people. An obviously baseless claim that Randy soundly quells, explaining that "there are many fine Jewish people who believe in Jesus, doing good, Jesus' ways, God, pray all the time, are not racists, and are deeply disturbed when bad things happen to Christians and Muslims and all people." Oh, and he's got a black friend too, so don't even think of calling him a racist.

First comes God. Then comes Randy Crow. A “True American for True Americans.” A man who got the crap kicked out of him with a stick from the crazy tree.

As elections approach, the Cold Front will highlight others on the frindge and in the middle of the pack. Know of a rising star to feature? Let us know.